Abroad and away.

Here I am, after blinking once or twice, in the city of Glasgow.

How am I feeling after a week being abroad for the first time?

I was crying like a baby at the airport. Don't get me wrong. I really didn't want to leave Kevin alone, and wished he could follow me here.

The past 1 month after quitting work was great, no work, holidays, shopping here & there, relax was all I did.

For the few months I was having a break, I spent 80-90% of it working. Every single day. Just like a full timer. Not that I regretted, I enjoyed it very much. Having spent time with my supervisor, pharmacists, staffs.. Knowing customers, getting to hear their advice, it's all great.

The last 2-3 days before departing KLIA shook me to the core. I couldn't believe I was finally leaving the country to study. Was it even real? Was it happening already?

After so long waiting..

I couldn't believe it myself.

I didn't have appetite to eat for a day. Especially the last meal with my parents, Kevin and my cousin. On the first flight, nothing entered my mouth. Nothing looked tasty.

Then, I started eating on the 2nd flight because I was too hungry >.<

Then my appetite came back lol.

It feels so surreal being here.

Now, after 1 week, I do feel like going home. It's because I'm lonely. That's why I wish Kevin is here.. all the time. I've got no one here with me, I've got no one to talk to, it's very very lonely.

They say you have friends over there, it'll be better. I'm afraid not..

Sometimes I wish I can be a part of them, then at least it'll be better by then. Also, at least, I wish Caring is here. Then I would spend 80% of my time there instead.

It's weird how you can never please the society. When you're being nice and kind, they label you fake. When you're being fake, they label you nice. It's always the other way round. Wtf.

Or, when you ask for permission because it isn't yours, they say "why are you asking me for permission, it's not mine" then when you take it, they will backstab you. When you don't ask and just take it assuming they are alright with it, it'll turn out that they do not like it at all and will also backstab you as well.

LOL.

Just fed up with how things work, because I really don't know how to deal with it.

Wish there will be some true people here so I can go crazy with that person. When I say crazy, I mean comfortable.

Final weekend.

Just a blink of an eye, it's 96 hours away from my departure to Glasgow.

What happened to 96 weeks, or 96 days away?

Time waits for no one, and I can't seem to accept the way it is. Most probably because I am so comfortable in my comfort zone, and I just refuse to accept how painful or stabbing reality is.

It will be my second time going away from my father and mother. I grew up without them being at home looking after me every single day. I suppose I will get used to it soon before I know it.

What is pulling me back is, Kevin. I know, family first. Like I said once, no one will understand no one unless they are in their shoes. What you think you see is what I say / show. It is in no certain that I spill every single detail of my life.

People tell me that you are never ready to leave. Says who? I've been growing up alone since 7 years old, without my dear father. Only under grandparents' guidance, it's totally different. And yet I can't blame them, because no one..

Anyway, I shall enjoy my last few days eating more food and grow fatter. To make my flight ticket worth the money :p

Since I am only allowed to carry limited weight, I shall add weight on myself heh heh heh */bimbo moments*

Till my departure, my schedule is ALL packed.

Tomorrow; hairdo with mom during day, dinner with mom's side of family.
Sunday; early Father's Day lunch with parents by me in Suki-ya, swimming + dinner with 1 of my dearest pharmacist :)
Monday; lunch with Kevin's mom, dinner with family
Tuesday; last lunch with Kevin, night to airport

I will be doing my last minute packing on Tuesday as well, so, I CAN DO IT! :D

Yeapz.

Now listening: One Spring Day by 2AM.