June is approaching. Once again, mid-year.
I hope I can graduate, *fingers crossed*
Penny’s first audition
1 year ago
June is approaching. Once again, mid-year.
I hope I can graduate, *fingers crossed*
There are so many things I would wanna share with everyone, but I don't know how to pick 'em important ones.
1) Recent trip (last weekend) to Leicester, England for Terry's friend's birthday. No pictures of Leicester because there was literally nothing... Like Nottingham - which I called Nothingham (geddit??)
So, I've been to a few places now:
- London, England
- Edinburgh, Scotland
- Nottingham, England
- Leicester, England
The next place I would wanna visit is Lake District.
Not including Europe, of course. There are so many places I would wanna visit in Europe.
2) Busy February
I had like the busiest moments in my whole life -.-
I didn't have enough time to do my assignments, let alone back-to-back assignments and class tests and exams.
I even didn't celebrate Chinese New Year at home. But I did celebrate it with friends, and my distance family in London.
I had my dose of spiciness and home cooked food.
3) The next few months of war
Final exams are coming up, and it's my final shot. & it is the most difficult semester I've ever gone through.
I'm getting scared and I must graduate this June. It is a must.
4) Missing MH370?
I've not much comments on this - but my heart goes out to all the families of the passengers on board.
I guess everyone is affected by this event. Even me.
Hoping for the best!
x
Coming to UK has been an experience, doing things on my own, having my own freedom yet I do nothing much about it. I used to think that once I get the freedom, I would go out every single day without fail but that only happened for a short while. Now, I rather stay home and do nothing and I wish my groceries will be in my fridge magically. Except the fact that I go out clubbing (to which I have lose interest long ago) without the need to ask for permission.
It's my first winter (besides winter in Australia which didn't even count since Perth's winter is like Glasgow's summer but it was probably because I was there at the end of winter though -.-) and I am learning how to keep myself warm.
I learned how to cook for myself & my friends, cleaning up, etc. Everything else that I couldn't possibly learn when I am back home.
I remember the first day being in UK, I was enjoying the long hours of daylight (where the sun sets at 10pm and the sun rises at 3am!) and the cold air (since Malaysia is hot and humid all year round). It was all new experience and environment altogether. If I get to choose again, I will choose to come abroad no matter what.
It's been 6 months since the first time I stepped into UK.
2013 has been the year I've been traveling a lot too - yeap if you consider flying back to Malaysia 2 times from the time I came to UK - to which I am grateful of since I am the only one had the chance to go back so many times. I am already feeling guilty since it's so expensive to fly like that.
I have stepped into London too.
 |
| Big Ben and a quarter of London Eye. |
 |
| The view from London Eye at night. |
There are so many things I learned this year, really. I even learned to appreciate family time - which I didn't.
Hope 2014 will be a better year x
Happy new year everyone *hearts*
How am I feeling after a week being abroad for the first time?
I was crying like a baby at the airport. Don't get me wrong. I really didn't want to leave Kevin alone, and wished he could follow me here.
The past 1 month after quitting work was great, no work, holidays, shopping here & there, relax was all I did.
For the few months I was having a break, I spent 80-90% of it working. Every single day. Just like a full timer. Not that I regretted, I enjoyed it very much. Having spent time with my supervisor, pharmacists, staffs.. Knowing customers, getting to hear their advice, it's all great.
The last 2-3 days before departing KLIA shook me to the core. I couldn't believe I was finally leaving the country to study. Was it even real? Was it happening already?
After so long waiting..
I couldn't believe it myself.
I didn't have appetite to eat for a day. Especially the last meal with my parents, Kevin and my cousin. On the first flight, nothing entered my mouth. Nothing looked tasty.
Then, I started eating on the 2nd flight because I was too hungry >.<
Then my appetite came back lol.
It feels so surreal being here.
Now, after 1 week, I do feel like going home. It's because I'm lonely. That's why I wish Kevin is here.. all the time. I've got no one here with me, I've got no one to talk to, it's very very lonely.
They say you have friends over there, it'll be better. I'm afraid not..
Sometimes I wish I can be a part of them, then at least it'll be better by then. Also, at least, I wish Caring is here. Then I would spend 80% of my time there instead.
It's weird how you can never please the society. When you're being nice and kind, they label you fake. When you're being fake, they label you nice. It's always the other way round. Wtf.
Or, when you ask for permission because it isn't yours, they say "why are you asking me for permission, it's not mine" then when you take it, they will backstab you. When you don't ask and just take it assuming they are alright with it, it'll turn out that they do not like it at all and will also backstab you as well.
LOL.
Just fed up with how things work, because I really don't know how to deal with it.
Wish there will be some true people here so I can go crazy with that person. When I say crazy, I mean comfortable.
What happened to 96 weeks, or 96 days away?
Time waits for no one, and I can't seem to accept the way it is. Most probably because I am so comfortable in my comfort zone, and I just refuse to accept how painful or stabbing reality is.
It will be my second time going away from my father and mother. I grew up without them being at home looking after me every single day. I suppose I will get used to it soon before I know it.
What is pulling me back is, Kevin. I know, family first. Like I said once, no one will understand no one unless they are in their shoes. What you think you see is what I say / show. It is in no certain that I spill every single detail of my life.
People tell me that you are never ready to leave. Says who? I've been growing up alone since 7 years old, without my dear father. Only under grandparents' guidance, it's totally different. And yet I can't blame them, because no one..
Anyway, I shall enjoy my last few days eating more food and grow fatter. To make my flight ticket worth the money :p
Since I am only allowed to carry limited weight, I shall add weight on myself heh heh heh */bimbo moments*
Till my departure, my schedule is ALL packed.
Tomorrow; hairdo with mom during day, dinner with mom's side of family.
Sunday; early Father's Day lunch with parents by me in Suki-ya, swimming + dinner with 1 of my dearest pharmacist :)
Monday; lunch with Kevin's mom, dinner with family
Tuesday; last lunch with Kevin, night to airport
I will be doing my last minute packing on Tuesday as well, so, I CAN DO IT! :D
Yeapz.
Now listening: One Spring Day by 2AM.
A Super Good News to all Hello Kitty Fans!!
I believe a lot of you girls and guys searching around
where to grab for Hello Kitty products in Malaysia for a really
long time…
And today…
Finally… Hello Kitty Malaysia is here..!
They are selling for Hello Kitty products and tickets for
Sanrio Hello Kitty Town Malaysia through online!
Currently they’re giving away Hello Kitty 2013 Calender, and you can
have your own copy from them today.
If you don’t believe me check it out for yourself here,
while it’s still available:
==> http://www.hellokittymalaysia.com
This special Hello Kitty 2013 Calender is valid for a limited time
only, which it may be taken off completely. Stop reading this now,
and go to the Hello Kitty Malaysia website and grab
your own copy now:
==> http://www.hellokittymalaysia.com
If you’re reading this blog post too late, then you may have missed it.
Don’t leave a comment to complain because there’s nothing I can do.
I DID tell you it’s a limited offer 
There's so many uncertainties to this. I don't know what will happen to Kevin and I later, or how my future will be. Many experienced ones told me not to be too serious in this relationship but how?
Kevin and I had a talk about this. We both agreed that things may be different later. Now the question is, HOW different? How different will I be? How different will he be? How different will we both be? With so many exposures and experiences for us to go through after this, with so many people we will be meeting..
Thinking about UK scares me now. What has happened to me who used to be looking VERY forward to go abroad? Where is the me 2 years ago? I am very lucky, and I am feeling grateful that I am able to go but what makes me fear of going abroad is Kevin. I know I am only 21 and I might have other chances to meet other guys or there are many other fishes in the sea. For now, he is all that matters among all other guys.
He has been treating me more than well. For that, I appreciate him. He has been nothing but forgiving, caring and understanding. I did mistakes again and again, while he forgives again and again.
Guilt has been filling me up for seeing how he suffers and never tell.
Maybe, when I come back, we won't even be together anymore. All the happy and sad times we had, might turn into fading memories that money cannot buy where I will cherish forever.
Or maybe, he will not be able to visit UK.
You will tell me not to think too much. But what the elders tell me, is different from what my friends tell me. What they tell me, is for my own good. I dare not stay away from the reality as I am afraid of what great impact they might give me..
It happened to me once for not wanting to listen, so now, I am only trying to reduce the impact.
What made me post this very very emotional and a-part-of-me post, is the documents / files my friend has posted for all my batch mates to read to prepare for our departure to UK where we will all be expected to complete our final year of MPharm.
I must admit Kevin is the biggest part in my MPharm Phase 1 life.
I also realized a lot of things. Loneliness will always be there.
Thank you, Kevin, for coming into my life.
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